I’ve been working for over two months now. Working at a job I didn’t think I would get for at least another year (if I was lucky). I get to do fun, exciting, and challenging things. I write strategies, video run sheets, taglines, branding protocols, and all sorts of other things I didn’t even know existed a few short months ago. I constantly think about how fortunate I am to be given this opportunity. I tell people about my luck. Then I correct myself and say it was part luck, part ambition. Sometimes though, there are problems that luck, ambition, and a good job can’t fix. You’re probably going to hate me for saying this, but getting a great job doesn’t mean that everything in your life will fall into place. I know we all have a vision of what things will look like once we ‘grow up’ and this often involves getting a job, working towards tangible goals, being successful, and doing all the things we always dreamed of. Life is laughing at us when we believe this is how things will be.
I went to the doctor a few weeks ago to get some things checked out and he asked me a funny question. We went through the routine questions “Are you getting enough sleep?” “Are you pregnant?” “Do you exercise regularly?” and then he looked me straight in the eye and asked “Are you happy?” I faltered. For some reason, this question rattled me; surely my reasons behind visiting the doctor couldn’t be related to my level of happiness. I realized, this isn’t something we ask ourselves nearly enough. It should be a simple thing to answer. It should be answerable by a yes or a no. However, like many other things in life, happiness isn’t black and white. I have many of the pieces which can construct happiness but it doesn’t necessarily mean I would define myself as happy. I cling to these pieces because I am learning how fragile and fleeting they are. If you don’t care and nurture them, one day you will wake up to find a piece of your collection missing. If you take a piece for granted (ie. A steady income or comforting friend) you will lose it because you stop working for it. Sometimes, a piece is taken from you and you don’t have any control over the gaping hole which is left. It can feel at times like you are juggling the different facets of your happiness (ie. Advancing your career while maintaining important friendships) that you can’t even enjoy them because there is too much pressure not to drop them.
It probably sounds like I am whining and maybe I am just a bit. I’m just trying to figure things out, and writing about it seems to be the only way I know how to lately.
And to answer the question in the title of this post…. “Are success and happiness related?” as of right now, I’m going to say kind of, but one definitely does not equal the other; the equation is much more complicated than that.
The acceptance of success and reality are crucial for being happy, in my opinion. Success doesn’t equal happiness, but if you don’t appreciate your successes, you’ll never be satisfied with what you do. The mistake people(like myself) often make is chasing perfection or a dream life which is unattainable. Doing so, life doesnt just laugh at you, itll pass you by. It is difficult to juggle so many aspects of life, and to do them all ideally is impractical.
I cant manage to write this as well as i would like to… its the demon called perfectionist in me. its also late at night and im neither awake or nor able to fall asleep.
all i can think about is how i can relate to this post like i related to the movie Garden State.
“This is my life, Dad, this is it. I spent 26 years waiting for something else to start, so, no, I don’t think it’s too much to take on, because it’s everything there is. I see now it’s all of it. You and I are gonna be OK, you know that, right? We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be, but for the first time let’s just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are and that will be better. OK? I think that will be better.” Andrew Largeman, Garden State